My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its about making memories worth repressing
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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