It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
