I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
