why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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