I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
