dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
