If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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