the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize