If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
