So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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