i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
