Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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