Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
