so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
