We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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