Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
