Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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