he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize