remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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