Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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