no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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