idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize