Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you had me at cake vodka
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?