shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
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You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND