i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.