Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
