theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
