I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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