They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
