I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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