we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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