I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
