somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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