Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
