thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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