If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
