I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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