we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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