You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
