I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
