I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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