windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i will never coherently bang her
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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