i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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