carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.