We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
