I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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