I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
