so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
