my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
