Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
