So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?