Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize