if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
