wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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