My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
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Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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