Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
