She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
