It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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