the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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