hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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