Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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