Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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