note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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