bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
